100 days

It’s down to 100 days and I’m really fearful of what’s ahead and how things will turn out. I don’t want it to turn into a huge regret yet I just want to be happy right now.

Can’t stand having to deal with anymore downs in life, I just want to be happy.

Just want to be happy. Help me.

Moving on?

I don’t understand what are the different motivations that people have. Some of these people don’t seem to be working hard for themselves, but just aim to prove to others, why can’t they just prove to themselves? Do it for yourself.

Don’t even be bothered about about others and their performance, why bother about percentile, I don’t get it. Maybe because I’m running away, maybe it’s just me.

I’m so lost right now, not knowing how to move on from here, from now onwards. What should I do?

This is a terrible world to live in.

Struggling and suffocating.

Why does life keep demanding things from me? All I want are simple and genuine relationships with people I love, why is it so hard? Why is it so hard to love and accept flaws?

I’m tired. I’m broken. I’m lost.

Humans

You know, it’s really strange. Human beings are really strange creatures. They like to treat you as insignificant or worthless individual out of the blue. One day they treasure you like gold and the next, you’re nothing but dust.

One day, just one day, they will realise that for whatever misery that happened, there is only one person that they can blame. Themselves. Just one day, I hope you will awaken, and finally realise that all this while, you have brought all these upon yourself and you have wrongly blamed others who were actually there, with their hands out for you to support. Yet, what you did was to stab them right through the heart because of your selfish little mind, arrogant little soul.

I don’t know what made you guys who you are right now. But I really dislike it and it hurts me to the core.

I’m broken. Because I cared for you, and I still do but I have just lost all hope and faith in you.

Just why do you do this to me? What did I do to deserve all these and having to go through all these shit, what have I done?

I wish you will read this and please, be it pity or love, let me off. I had enough of this. I had enough of the mistreatment, the insult, the constant blaming, the stab right through, a huge part of me is gone. Dead.